I guess this means goodbye...

     It's actually been nice this semester to have a blog to rant about my feelings. I also appreciated reading other blogs and seeing what everyone was up to. I always thought I was a horrible writer and that I didn't have a creative bone in my body. I guess I just wasn't used to coming up with ideas on what to write about. Once you get started it's hard to stop coming up with ideas. Sometimes after I already had my blogs done for the week a better idea for a blog would pop into my head and I would be so irritated that I didn't think of that earlier. I also realized some weeks I would hit a mental block and have no clue about what to write. I used to hate any communications classes, but I rather enjoyed this one and looked forward to writing all my papers. The last research paper was difficult because I had to find really reliable sources, but it was still fun. It's so much better to write about topics you're actually interested in than having someone tell you what topic to write about. When I started this class my baby girl was barely smiling and now she is almost crawling. Time has gone by so fast and this semester has been very eventful. I liked all my classes and instructors this semester and really look forward to starting the program in the fall. I wanted to wish everyone else luck on their degrees and also tell everyone to hang in there because school will be over before we know it.
      I also wanted to give a little update on my family before the semester is over. My son randomly decided last week on Wednesday that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. Since then he has done great and only has had a few accidents. So, that really has lowered the cost of diapers, thank God. My girl is about to crawl and right now can sit up all on her own. My husband's company he works for will have new owners on the eleventh of this month. And I will get to stay at home with my babies for the whole summer. So everything is going good for my family right now and we are so happy to get back to normalcy for a couple of months. Good luck everyone and I will miss reading all the blogs!    

Is tanning safe?

So, I just saw on the local news today that a 44 year old mother supposedly brought her little daughter tanning. The mother claims she never took her child tanning, but the girl had burns and told her teacher she went tanning with her mom. I found this story very disturbing. I go tanning myself, but would never let my daughter go until she's 18 and can make her own decisions. If tanning beds are used wrongly and excessively they can cause skin cancer. I usually go before summer because it's better to tan then to get sun burnt. It kind of gets my fair skin ready to be in the sun. There's no evidence showing if tanning beds are any safer than the sun, but tanning beds allow you to tan without getting pink. Here's a link of information on the tanning beds vs sunlight. TANNING This link is more alarming to me stating that having any tan means that you have some sort of skin cell damage. Any Tanning is Dangerous I know and understand the consequences of tanning, but I still feel that anything in moderation is okay. If anything weird were to happen like dark spots or weird skin growths I would definitely stop going. I also found a site that might be found interesting. It's a site where they claim this certain tanning bed actually makes you healthier. I'm not sure if I believe it, but I do find it interesting. Healthy Tanning Bed I've heard a saying once that if it's too good to be true then it probably is. I'm not writing this to scare anyone because I go tanning myself. I just want to bring up the fact that everything should be done in moderation and that children should never go tanning. That mom is crazy!

What to do???

Having children is great, but it's so difficult when it comes to finding childcare and getting a job that works with your available hours. My husband and I decided I would quit my job and pursue the career I've been wanting one year ago which has made money pretty tight. This summer I'm trying to find a way to make extra money so we can do something fun. The only problem with that is we have two kids and most daycare places charge twenty dollars a day for just one child. Having two would make that forty dollars a day! Let's say if I were to find a job that were minimum wage I would only take home twenty dollars for eight hours. This fact makes me feel very sorry for single mothers. I also thought about doing childcare work for the summer because usually you're own children get in free or they have a small fee. Then I think about the fact that I would have to quit as soon as school starts again. I can't have a job during school because the program is supposed to be very intense and I also have to keep my time open for clinicals. I'm really excited about the program, but I now see how hard it is to live on one income. On top of that my husband's company just got new owners so we are unsure if he will even be able to keep his job. It's been really stressful these last couple of weeks and I just want to cry. I know that it will all work out, but having even the least bit uncertainty can be disconcerting. I'm open to any ideas for stay at home moms making money. I just can't wait until I graduate two years from now. That will be the day. My husband and I have already made plans to move out to Florida once I'm done with school!

Parks

I love being outside. I acquired this love for nature when I was very little. Even in a snow storm I would talk my mom into letting me play outside on the front porch. Right now I have a schedule to where I can do anything during the day and just have night classes, this way I could stay home with the kids. It's finally Spring and the weather is mostly beautiful everyday. On the super nice days I like to take my kids on a walk to the park and let my 3 year old run around for a couple of hours playing on the equipment they have for kids. The only problem I noticed is that the parks in Carthage are not up to code on safety requirements. I understand that being in a recession cities don't have as much money to put toward leisure things, but I really want just one nice and safe park to bring my children. Schools here have good playgrounds, but by the time school is out I'm getting ready to leave for school myself. One estimate I found interesting is that 57 percent of injuries that occur on playgrounds are at parks or schools. Here's some more Playground safety facts. I wish I won the lottery so I could buy some safe equipment for the Carthage area. I'm constantly finding myself following close behind my son when he plays on the equipment out of fear something might happen. Not only that, but it seems to me most of the parks in Carthage are also rusted over, which if a child gets cut on the equipment it could cause them to get tetanus. I was looking online if there was any advice on how to get your city to make improvements on local parks and this is a very good site with so much information that was very helpful. Build A Park  I think I might actually take this project of improving our parks on.  This subject is very near and dear to my heart because I believe that play was the one thing that kept me happy as a child. Here is some play research that shows that play is vital to a child's happiness and health. Play Research I just really believe that communities need to start coming together to benefit our children.

Physics blows my mind!

Last semester I had finished my last math class needed to graduate, at least that's what I thought. So, for this Spring semester I enrolled in a couple of classes I didn't technically need to graduate because I had all my pre-reqs done. One of those classes was my physical science night class. The very first night of class I walk in to find the teacher passing out papers that were filled with math notes. He then went to the front of the room to introduce himself and tell us that he was going to do the math part of the class first to get it out of the way. What?!? A math class again? REALLY! I was beside myself and wanted to switch classes right away, but I'm no quitter and decided it will just strengthen my math skills. You know all those allegebra classes where everyone asks where we'll ever use this stuff...well, I found out majority of the stuff we learn in allegebra is used in physical science. I have learned so much from this class. What really blew my mind was when we were talking about liquid mechanics. I learned through bernouli's principle how airplanes can fly. I always really wondered how airplanes were lifted by such small wings. Well, it really has to do with the fact about the speed lessening the pressure so the plane can rise. Learning how our world works is so amazing to me and I'm so glad I took this class. I especially like the astronomy that I learned. Don't get me wrong, this class is very difficult, but I really enjoy what I've learned out of it. I've always like biology, but never took an interest in physical science until now. I think my teacher is just very good at explaining everything that I couldn't grasp before in my highschool classes. Also, being older now I see how blessed I am to have schooling and don't take it for granted like I did when I was younger. It's really amazing how well you can do when you really put your all into something. Just wanted to put it out there that if you want your mind blown with every class then you should take physical science. Beware because it isn't a class for the faint of heart. It is very difficult and you have to really put a lot of time into it.

Ready for Summer Break!

I've been getting so anxious for summer break. This was my first year back to college and it has been quite a ride. When I applied for the fall semester I didn't even know if I was capable of passing online classes, but I had to do online because I was pregnant last fall and didn't want to miss classes when I gave birth during midterms. I feel like this semester was even harder than the last though, mostly because of my physics class. The exams in that class are crazy and so far I've taken 5 out of 8. That means 3 left to go for the last 4 weeks. Last night I felt all the stress of everything that has been piled on before the close of the semester and I also felt that feeling of summer break being so close yet so far. This past year has been very eventful for me and my family and I can't wait to just focus on my kids during the summer. I look forward to playing in the sprinkler everyday and having Popsicles for a snack. I'm so thankful that summers aren't mandatory for school. At the same time I can't wait to start the program either. I'm so excited to see what the future holds for my family. We just need to hang in there for a couple more weeks. After the next couple weeks I've concluded that my daughter will probably start to crawl and by the end of the summer hopefully begin to walk. Just thinking about her growing and being able to be here to see her major milestones makes me the happiest person in the world. Right now I feel as if I have got the best of both worlds; getting to be an active mom and attending school. I want to wish everyone good luck on the exams that are inevitable at the end of the semester, I know they are usually the hardest.

So Close!

I'm not sure if any of you have really small kids or have ever dealt with them, but being the parent of a 3 year old is not for the faint at heart. He just turned 3 in March and has been starting to behave better, but you never know what's truly coming when they are just cute little babies. My oldest Josiah was one of the best babies I could have asked for. I could easily take him in public and he never fussed. He also listened when I said no to things. I felt like I was a great mom and that my son would only get better and better. DUM DUM DUM!!! Then came along his second birthday, it was like a switch was internally flipped from good baby to bad toddler. Really, ever since his second birthday he has tried my patience. He has talked back, gotten into things, and blatently ignored me so much this past year that I would be unable to count. And the very worst thing of all is the huge tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I remember being a teenager and looking at kids who threw tantrums in the store and would think that they had little backbones and needed to punish their kids more. Now I know the truth as does every parent that has ever gone through the terrible twos. A tantrum has nothing to do with the parent and how they raise their child. It has to do more with how the child melts down and is incapable of calming his or herself. It's actually a very normal thing when a child doesn't know how to deal with their normal emotions. Here's a link I found that has a good explanation on the terrible twos and a couple of tips for parents. Terrible Twos Anyways, for the past month I have seen more improvement in my son's behavior than in the past year. I finally see the light out of this parenting dilemma of having a two year old. Along with his behavior slowly getting better, his speech and understanding has improved too. Yesterday we were pretending to be birds when I asked him to fly and he said he couldn't fly because it was too hard and he didn't have wings. I don't know where he learned that from, but it really made me realize how he has started to analyze things now. I think two year olds are so difficult because they can't communicate what they want and it frustrates them. I took Josiah to the park yesterday in Pittsburg, Kansas, where my sister lives and he listened so well the entire time and even helped me with his little cousin. And his cousin just turned two and he has just started driving his parents crazy. His cousin kept trying to run away and even tried to jump into the pond. It gave me a good reminder of how far my son has come. So for any parents who have a two year old right now, keep you head up, it will end and things will get better. Not saying that kids can't go through a rough patch in their threes because all children are different. There are some that actually continue bad behavior well into their threes. This is a site on the Terrible threes and what causes it. Terrible Threes I really hope Josiah continues in his improving and I look forward to him turning four because that's when he can start being involved in sports and fun activities. This blog wasn't meant to scare future parents because even though your child is difficult they still bring so much joy to your life and it's so worth it. I would obviously do it all over again because I had another baby who is now 6 months old. Being a parent teaches you what real love is. There are times when mothers need emotional support and here's a good site that helps mothers in need of support. Help for Mommies Being a mom is like being on a roller coaster ride of emotions ranging from Great to not so great, but most moms will tell you they wouldn't change a thing about motherhood or their child. Good luck for all future parents!

Impending Storms

     I'm not sure if I'm the only one freaked out by the possibility of really serious storms tomorrow and on Sunday, but just the rain today has really freaked me out. I never used to be scared of storms before the May tornado. I actually used to love them. When I was a kid, a storm meant going to sleep over at my grandma's house who had a basement. My grandma always had a lot of snacks on hand and games to play while we waited out the storm. I can't believe I was so brave as a child because I was scared of everything else. Now as an adult with children to care for, my mother bear feeling comes out when there's a storm going on. I'm constantly trying to think of ways to keep my family safe if something were to happen. It doesn't help that we don't have a basement or any middle room without windows. We live in a ranch style house that is on top of a hill. I feel like we're just sitting ducks when a bad storm comes along. Anyways, with all the hype today about impending storms I've been trying to find different tips online about ways to stay safe during a tornado. Here's a great site with tips on what to have ready and where to go.Tornado Safety
    Lately, my husband and I feel as though storms are getting worse all over the world with hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, and tornadoes. So we are very much into the idea of getting a storm shelter. They are expensive and we can't afford one right now, but we are going to start saving for one very soon. Here's a good site if you want to start looking into buying one for your family. Storm Shelters
    Anyways, if anyone hasn't watched TV at all today and hasn't heard of the possibility of severe storms this weekend then you should probably be ready and have a survival kit packed and on hand and avoid going out for a long period of time. I already have plans on bringing my family to my grandma's house, yes, the same house I went to as a kid. Sadly, this time won't be to have fun, but to keep my family safe. Here's a site that shows the weather alerts for today and the next couple of days. Weather Forcast I just wanted to warn everyone that I possibly know about this. I know I sound like I'm crazy, but I don't think I'll ever be normal again after the tornado that hit Joplin. I still remember everything that I did that day, including the whole morning when the weather looked completely normal to that night when we raced our car to my in laws house for safety. It was scary and I really want to move out of this area once I graduate.

Finding the Key to a Strong Relationship

As a kid my first example of a relationship was my parents, which wasn't a good one. If my parents were in the same room they would be yelling at eachother and tearing eachother down with every word. It was a horrable environment for me and my siblings. There were six of us kids all together. So early on we learned that relationships equalled a lot of fighting and stress. We carried out our fighting with one another and never got along. Most parents know that when kids get older they will mimic their parents behavior and words, and that's exactly what we did. As I got older I realized that our whole family was dysfunctional and I took it upon myself to help my family get closer. I read every book strong families and relationships that I could get my hands on. I even watched a tv series about mending relationships. So, after I made a decision to try and change my family I was found in the middle of every fight that went on, including the fights between my parents. I was never able to help my parents, but my siblings started to see the same thing that I saw and one at a time changed their behavior. Finally, I got to the point where I was engaged to my husband and really saw how much my family had changed. I felt accomplished even though my parents were the same, but I was scared of my family going back to their old habits once I was gone. I was gone for only one year when I had found out that things had escalated since I got married. My parents ended up getting divorced and my younger brothers were physically fighting and beating the crap out of eachother. I felt as though it was my fault that things got so bad, but I realized that I can't babysit my family forever. Eventhough things got bad for my family, I realized how much I had changed over the years with how I reacted in my marriage from the very beginning. I finally found the key to a good, strong, and enduring relationship. It's respect for one another and honesty. To this day my husband and I have never yelled at eachother. We do argue, but we respect and love eachother to the ends of the earth. So I wouldn't change a thing I went through growing up because I learned how to love and respect through the mistakes that occured in the beginning of my life. It made me who I am today.

I Love Easter!

I have two kids, as everyone who reads my blog knows by now, and having kids makes holidays so much more enjoyable. Easter is an especially fun holiday for me. Remembering back to last Easter, my son had finally understood that he must pick up the egg and put it in his basket. This year I'm hoping to see a little more of his competitive side. I believe that my son's personality is very similar to mine growing up. As a child I was very competitive, hyper, and just loved to have a good time. Is it bad that I want my son to find the most eggs and get the best goodies? I love to see him succeed and it would be so great if he could beat his older cousins to the eggs this time. I was telling my husband that we need to have a mock Easter egg hunt on the Saturday before Easter so we can train him to win. He kind of snickered and looked at me like I was crazy. He just doesn't understand the fun of beating others. My husband obviously doesn't have one competitive bone in his body. He lets me win with everything, which I do like. I think it's so sweet of him. Anyways, I got him to agree to the Saturday Easter practice! It's on baby! It's on! Just thought I would let every parent know to watch out because my three year old with obliterate the competition! Also, I do want to say that I love the reason why we celebrate Easter too. It's just that I finally enjoy the Easter egg hunts and chocolate bunnies part of Easter now that I have kids. I definitely find Easter one of the holiest holidays of the year besides Christmas. I just can't wait to see Joey having fun with the other children. I especially can't wait until Kaitlyn can get in on the action too!

What are your views on Trayvon Martin

I kind of want to put in my two cents on this subject that was so widely spread by the media. If anyone hasn't heard of him, he is a 17 year old black male that was killed by a neighborhood watch. The neighborhood watch, George Zimmerman, pursued the young teenager and then shot him after an altercation. Full Trayvon Martin Story I know everyone has mixed views on what actually happened, but I believe that this child was innocent of any wrong doing. They have yet to arrest Zimmerman for killing Trayvon because he claims it was in self defense. In my point of view, Zimmerman shouldn't have followed Trayvon and this said altercation would have never happened. I'm definitely on the side of the parents in this case. Trayvon was not carrying any weapon with him, just skittles and a tea. Yet Zimmerman had a gun. It is possible that Zimmerman started the altercation just to use as a reason to shoot Trayvon. I believe that what really went down was a hate crime toward the fact Trayvon was african american. The FBI have even started their own investigation because they believe it to be a hate crime also. FBI Investigation Begins All I know is that if I were the parent of the child shot that I would be beside myself right now. The person who shot their baby is free right now to do whatever he wants. I mean what kind of neighborhood watch carries a gun with them. Zimmerman seems like someone looking for the kill. On the other side, he might just have a major paranoia disorder. Maybe paranoia is what led him to follow Trayvon in the first place. The sad thing is that we can only take Zimmerman's word for it. The only other witness is dead. You'd think our justice system would do more about this tragedy. Here's another little piece of information I found on a newspaper website: Zimmerman has already escaped arrest for the Feb. 26 killing because of a Florida self-defense law that "grants people more leeway to attack and even kill someone who is threatening him," wrote the Wall Street Journal. This law is absurd that you can attack someone and kill them just from a threat. This needs to be changed! Hate Crime? Anyways, I feel this law allows for too many loopholes for a killer. Trayvon deserves justice and isn't getting it

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/04/04/3530435/commentary-ethnicity-is-a-red.html#storylink=cpy

Update on the Daycare Problem

So, I just wanted to give an update on my son and daycare. Obviously I made the decision to take him out of  the daycare where I found him playing in the road. I decided for the rest of the semester to have him home with me since most of my classes are online. I remember how stressed I was at the beginning of the semester with him, but it's actually better now. I have all my classes organized and know exactly what I need to do and when I need to get it done. So this week went surprisingly well even with the three exams I had to take. I also have a 5 month old daughter Kaitlyn, but she has always stayed at home with me since all she does is sleep anyways. It will be sad when I have to take them to daycare in the fall, but at least they will be together. I also have the slight chance that their granny might watch them. She kind of hinted the other week that she was thinking about quitting her job and watching them while I was in the respiratory program. If she does decide to I will be one happy mom! She is one of the best mother in laws I could ask for and if she would watch them I would have no worries whatsoever. Although, before I started college I did work and had to bring my son to a daycare since he was three weeks old. So, I can handle it if I do have to take them. It is just more stressful to trust someone that's not family with the most precious things in your life. I'm probably really paranoid, but I feel like all mothers feel guilty for leaving their babies with someone else. It's just in our blood to care about the well being of our children. You may say why not just stay home if it bothers you that much, but I need to do this for myself and my family. My husband just makes enough for us to get by, but when I graduate he will be able to go to college and we will be better off financially. I want my children to grow up being able to be invlolved in whatever sport they want or have that extra help when they go to college. I never cared about going to college until my children were born. Many things change when someone is counting on you for their future. I hope someday my kids will understand why I chose to go to school and I hope they will be proud of me for making that choice.

Don't Give Up Baby Payton!

I thought I had been through some really rough times when Noah and I were starting our family, but one week ago I found out I was very wrong. One week ago my best friend growing up was pregnant with her second child, she had a previous miscarriage around the same time I had one. Little did she know that she would be the small percentage to have her baby girl early. Actually, early is an understatement, her baby was born at 24 weeks old exactly. That the age when only 50% of the babies born survive. I was scared and worried for her, I knew she loved this baby more than anything else in the world. Premature Birth Information To doctors, 24 weeks is the age of viability. So if the baby were born just the day before it wouldn't have survived. It's even a miracle that Lauren found out she was in premature labor. The day she found out she put an pregnancy app on her phone and the information for the day was about when to call your doctor. She only had one of the symptoms, but decided to call just to be safe. The doctor was worried and immediately called her to come in to be checked. When she had gotten there she was 3 cm dilated and the sac was coming out. Lauren was promptly sent to the main hospital to be put on bed rest, but nothing could stop this little girl from coming into the world. Luckily the doctors were able to keep her inside for the night. At midnight she was exactly 24 weeks and then the baby came. I was constantly checking my facebook to see any updates, but the updates stopped. No one knew she had her baby and right after started to hemorrhage. In the morning she updated everyone she knew that she was okay and so was the baby. They both had a rough night, but they had survived. She named her girl Payton. Payton This is my friend's facebook page and it has several pictures of her baby girl. She is one week old and a day now! The doctors are very hopeful, but she's still in the critical time of survival. They said if she could survive one week then her chances are great. This little girl is a fighter. She's at the Freeman Nicu right now and I can't wait to see her in person. Before this I always thought premature babies were from moms drinking and doing drugs, but now I see someone perfectly normal and doing everything right can go into premature labor. Here are the signs, so if you know anyone pregnant you can pass the word and maybe save a life like the pregnancy app did for Lauren's baby.Signs of Premature Labor

The life of a Mom.

 Today is one of those days that really shows what it's like to be a mom. This day is special because it was errand day. That means I run as many errands that I can squeeze into one day. This morning I dropped my husband off to work in Joplin then right after drove straight to Neosho to pay our car bill. While I was driving to Neosho my 3 year old figured out how to unbuckle his carseat. I turned around when I heard him whispering to himself, that always means he's doing something he knows is bad. When I saw him sitting up in the seat I totally freaked out. I started yelling at him to get back into his seat while he was laughing at me. He knew I had no power because I was driving. For the first time I wished my son wasn't as smart as he is. Finally, when I threatened a spaken he jumped into his carseat and buckled himself up. That was the first incident of the day. After paying for the car we leave back to carthage. Josiah somehow got into his chex mix snacks and starting chewing them and spitting them out as far as they could go. Of course I tried to stop him, but there's only so much you can do while driving on the highway. I pulled into the carthage wal-mart for my next errand, oil change. When I opened the door to his sister's side she was covered in chewed up chex mix. I was extremely mad at this point because she's only 5 months old and could have choked on those little pieces. So, I get the kids and go inside to find that the oil change will take 2 hours. I really needed one so I agreed to wait...it was a BIG mistake. Found right beside the car garage area were the toys! As soon as Joey spotted them he went bazerk! He started screaming and crying the loudest I've ever heard him. This continued for 2 hours. When I went to pick up the car I was practically in tears. I go up to the register to find out that they hadn't even gotten to my car yet and it would take another 45 minutes. So I left crying. Then I came home fed the kids and went to lay Josiah down for his nap. When I layed him down he looked at me and smiled and said, "I love you mommy." At that moment everything was ok again. Just one moment with my kids in a hecktick day can change everything. All the stress just melted away as if it never happened. I love my kids. Oh and I want to reccomend some other places where you can get oil changes because wal-mart is the worst place to go. Speed Lube in Carthage If you live in Carthage it has way better service than wal-mart ever had. I also wanted to post some tips on stopping tantrums because I googled it as soon as I got home.Ways to avoid Temper Tantrums And lastly I wanted to give any other parents in my class some ideas to reduce daily stress.Great tips to relieve Stress! To sum it up, days can be filled with stress, but it's how you look at it that really makes the difference in your attitude.

Spring is in the Air!

So, I bet everyone has already noticed how everything has been sprouting especially early this year. To see the greenery come back has made me so especially happy this year. It also means warm weather! Anyone who knows me knows that I can't stand the cold. I like it most when its warm and breezy, which defines the majority of the weather during spring. It also means my daily walks starting up again, spring cleaning, playing outside in the kiddy pool with my children, and spring cleaning. With spring break coming up next week I'm going to start my spring cleaning a little earlier than usual, which I'm so excited about. I love getting rid of all the clutter and simplifying my life. With two kids now the clutter has grown to the point of overflowing closets. You know, like the closet that when you open it you fear a mini avalanche. This spring cleaning will definitely be the most labor intensive yet for sure. I think this year calls for a rummage sale. We have a full garage of things we don't want and like I said full closets. So we'll need to definitely purge some things to make room. It's not that we're hoarders it's just that we haven't had time in the past to do rummage sales. If we end up not having time this year we're definitely giving a lot of it away. I'm just ready for Spring and all that it offers! I think I'm going to go outside now and catch some rays. Peace Out! 

Birth Control Sucks

So, after I had my daughter my husband and I decided we were done having children. He was going to get a vasectomy until they took away his insurance at work. He works for a small business and they are doing very badly right now. Vasectomy Info It was nice of my husband to offer to do something that sounds so scary, but he felt like I had already been through enough. But after he lost his insurance we had to decide what form of birth control to use. I had the Mirena before and I didn't really like it. It didn't effect my emotions, but it was scary to think that it might fall out of place or even get stuck. Mirena So, I had to make a decision on which drug seemed most effective. I have always had a problem with remembering to take pills and I couldn't risk getting pregnant so pills were out of the question. Then I came across a new type of birth control called implanon. It sounded so perfect. It works for three years and it just implanted in your arm right under the skin. Implanon So, I called my doctor to ask him if I could get that type of birth control under my insurance. He responded that he doesn't give his patients that type of birth control. What?!? Really? So, I went back to the drawing board. My last option that I felt would be most effective was the depo shot. It's a shot that you get every three months to prevent pregnancy. I've had to get two shots so far and it really emotionally sucks. I feel like it completely changed my temper. I used to be very even keeled and it took a lot to get me mad, but now its like I cry just with the weather report. Almost everything brings out some sort of emotion. I can't stand myself like this and I'm really starting to hate Noah's work for taking away his insurance. I would not recommend that anyone get the depo shot. It has horrible side effects. Besides the mood swings it has also given me insomnia. It's so hard for me to sleep at all. At least it keeps me awake while reading my government chapters. To sum it up, Birth Control Stinks! Okay, now I'll step off my soap box.

Irritated and Frustrated with Babysitters...

So, by my topic you can see that I'm not happy right now. I thought I found a wonderful babysitter that practiced good judgement. Now what I once thought is under question. Yesterday, when I went to pick up my son from his babysitter I decided to walk up to her house. While I was walking there I saw from a long ways off that Josiah was playing outside. Little did I know that he was playing outside with the supervision of a second grader. Yes, that's what I said, a second grader watching my now three year old son. I was livid and couldn't believe my eyes. I pay extra to bring him to her house rather than bringing him to a daycare. Isn't it common sense that I pay her to watch my child and not her son. All the possibilities went through my mind about what could have happened. Someone could have stole him, he could have got ran over by a car, or even a dog could have attacked him. Even after speaking to her I'm very scared about her judgement calls. If she thinks he's big enough to play outside without adult supervision, what other judgment calls does she make. So, I've been thinking of finding another babysitter. I know I should probably take my concerns to her, but my worry is that she will get upset and take it out on my son during the day. It's so frustrating not knowing what to do in this situation. The babysitter is such a nice lady and has a great family with wonderful kids. That's why I chose her in the first place. Maybe I'm being over sensitive and over thinking everything. I just hope I figure this out soon.

Ahhh! I'm on cloud 9 right now!

   So, you're probably wondering why I'm so happy today. First, it's super nice outside and I took my babies to the park to play this morning. The other reason why I'm happy is that I found out today I got in the 89th percentile on the hobet test! I've been trying so hard for my family to do good in my classes and get into the respiratory program and finding out this news has brought me one step closer to the program next fall. Here's an explanation of what the hobet test is.  HOBET  I feel like I could run a mile right now with all the energy I have. Anyways, here's the story behind why I'm so dedicated to becoming a respiratory therapist. When I was a little girl, just in first grade, I developed chronic asthma and on top of that had a low immune system. I was hospitalized with pneumonia one to two times a year. It got to the point where I knew the nurses' names in the children ward at St. Johns hospital. One year I was in very bad condition and I was scared and alone. My night respiratory therapist had to give me a breathing treatment every two hours. Breathing treatments are supposed to last way longer than that. This respiratory therapist was the reason why I wanted to become one. He was so nice and really cared, unlike the nurses who didn't even try to make conversation with me. I want to be like him. I want to be a light in someone's life and make that difference he made in mine. It's a scary thing to not breathe and I know I'll put my heart into making all my patients feel better. My big dream is to work at one of the cancer treatment centers, but I know that will probably be years down the road. Here's a page showing information about my dream work place. Cancer Treatment Centers of America Anyways, I just really wanted to write a post about how happy I am right now. I should now in the next couple of weeks if I made it into the program or not.Respiratory Therapist Overview

Being Content

      With today's post I want to talk about the importance of happiness and being content. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my future. Mostly about how I can't wait to get in the respiratory program and finish my degree and where to move afterwards. I'm supposed to graduate in July of 2014 and I know that I'm thinking way ahead of time, but I'm afraid that if I don't think about those things now that I won't be ready to make a decision when it comes to choose where I will look for a job. I realized with stressing so much about what to do that I  was losing my a bit of my happiness that I could be feeling now. This give and take between contentment and looking to the future happens frequently in life. It is important that both gets the attention they need, but the most important thing for happiness is contentment in where we are in life. Looking forward to the future is a good thing too so we can accomplish our goals, but it is way over rated. We should make our goals and every once in a while take a look at our lives to see if we are going in that direction. If too much focus is placed on our future how can we enjoy the present. I learned this lesson a long time ago about contentment and I'm glad I did. I've been so happy in my everyday life and I've been living everyday one day at a time. We are not guaranteed a future and every  moment counts in life. Ever since I've been living for each day, I hardly regret anything in the past 5 years. Living in the present not only brings happiness, but also allows you to make better decisions and be more involved with others. It brings the focus more on the important things. So, I just kind of wanted to give my little input on life and what I've learned thus far.

Anxiety

     Since I was a child I have always had very bad anxiety. My home was very hectic and I was forced to grow up at a young age. For example, everyday when my parents dropped me off at school I would ask them not to die today. Then I would worry throughout the day until they came to pick me up. I know very weird, but I was kind of raised to worry about everything. As I got older the worse my anxiety became. I obsessed over anything and everything. It started to become a big block in the roadway of my life. I never realized anxiety wasn't normal until I got older and I was sick and tired of it by then. So, I decided to battle my way of thinking. First, I bought a study book called Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. Book on Amazon I swear by that book, it really helps you to understand how your mind works and what steps to take to change your thinking patterns. So, I tried every piece of advice the book gave me. The hardest part was to not let my mind think about anxiety. My biggest fear was of loved ones dying. It drove me nuts sometimes thinking about death and how once someone's gone, they're gone. I'm going to be completely honest, it was hard work to change my set way of thinking. It was months later when I realized one day that I had not put one thought to being worried. It was so liberating to realize that I really was changing into a happier and stress free person. When I realized how much the book helped me I started to read more christian books. The next one was Good Morning Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. This book brought me to a greater understanding of God and made me see what christianity was all about. It really opened my eyes to God and as my relationship grew with God I could feel more freedom from that stressful world I grew up in. Good Morning Holy Spirit A few years had passed and I graduated and decided to go to college. One of the first classes I took was in phsychology. That class was a real eye opener to why I had been the way I used to be. I saw that abused children are more likely to suffer from anxiety and I also learned that it takes a week to form a habit, but 3 months to get rid of it. So I realized that my journey took so long because I was used to having anxiety and that had become my habit. If anyone reading this feels like they are suffering from anxiety this is a good site to understand things more and you can also find help here.Anxiety Disorders Association of America I do want to end with the fact that I live an awesome life now. Anxiety doesn't dominate my day like it did once before. I've been living an almost stress free life for the past 4 years. I chose to change my situation and sometimes only you can help yourself.