Like I have said in my first post, I have two wonderful children. The day I had my oldest child Josiah was a life changing day. I saw him and I for the first time saw my purpose. I was attached from that moment on. This little guy held my heart and still does. When he was just 15 months old I knew I wanted another baby. He was so perfect and my husband and I were ready to add to our little family. Just one month after trying we found we were pregnant. I was the happiest I had been in my life. I knew this time what I was looking forward to. At least that's what I thought. One day coming home from work I decided to clean the whole house because it was mess. When I was done I sat down on the couch and felt something I'll never forget. Blood. When I went to the bathroom it was everywhere. I yelled for my husband Noah and he held me for an hour before we went to the hospital. That was the end for our second child. That little baby was in my tummy for 10 weeks and those were the best 10 weeks of my life. I loved her so much. I would sit in the future nursery and imagine her there with me. I had major complications and almost bled to death after miscarrying her. I never thought I would be able to carry again.
Just four months after I lost her, I was pregnant again to my surprise. I was so scared through the entire pregnancy. I even had similar complications to my last one. I just prayed that everything would be fine. I couldn't lose another baby. It's too devastating. Then 9 months later I gave birth to a completely healthy baby girl. I named her Kaitlyn Grace. It was by the grace of God that I had her and I won't say otherwise. I'm glad to say that I'm happy once again. God brought joy back into my life with Kaitlyn. Love is a scary thing, but to have unconditional love for someone is worth it. Kaitlyn is three months old now and I have enjoyed everyday with her. It's hard to put her down. Life would be nothing without the love I have for my husband and our children. It's worth every fear, every painful moment, and every time you feel like your going crazy. It is so worth it.
*sniff* Thank you for sharing your touching story. I am not a parent and cannot imagine what the hurt of losing a child would feel like. Praise God that He helped you and Noah through that difficult time in your lives. He is an awesome God for giving you 2 beautiful and healthy gifts you cherish everyday! His grace is a wonderful thing :D
ReplyDeleteThere is no other love like the love a mother has for her child! I would go crazy if anything ever happened to my children. I can imagine how hard that was for you God allows us to go through things and we will never understand why but we have to trust in him! It sounds like you and your husband did just that and now the 2 of you have a testimony and if you haven't already you will help so many parents that go through such a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I'm one blessed woman and I understand that bad things happen to good people. God used my miscarriage to show me how blessed I truly am and I'm now a more thankful person.
ReplyDeleteThis really touched my heart! Thank you for sharing it!
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